New Element

The Republican Party has established itself as a collection of honest, forthright, dedicated, competent, altruistic intellectuals steeped in science and mathematics.
It is therefore my honor as a Party of God spokesman to announce this discovery by Republican Scientists at the top secret Republican Institute for Advanced Studies.

This astounding new discovery gives us the heaviest element in the periodic table, the explanation ( I wish I was smart enough to write this stuff; somebody smart had to do it.) which I found in the research annals of the Institute, follows. Read and be amazed!

NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED: "Governmentium"

A major research institution, The Republican Party Institute for Advanced Studies, has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant
neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. A
minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to
complete, when it would normally take less than a second. It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons