The Santa Time Line will not be posted but may be available upon request. This decision is based solely upon the very good possibility of the infliction of physical pain from my better half, should I persist.

An Epiphany on Santa Klaus (or, "Claus", if you’re American and challenged by languages other then your own version of proper English).

No relation to the Twelve Days of Christmas is implied but the posting will occur over twelve days, in twelve segments but all before the official, established by committee, birthday of the Christian Man/God Jesus of Nazareth. This report is confidential and published without the approval of the C I A !

This preliminary report is submitted to the ONSA, as requested. Recommendation is based solely upon the information herein.

Special Report by the Office of Research, Background Unit, Central Intelligence Agency,

Washington DC., 20505

TO: Office of National Security Advisor

From: Office of Deputy Director for Intelligence, Research Unit

December 1, 2006

This preliminary report is submitted to the ONSA, as requested. Recommendation is based solely upon the information herein.

Recommendation: That any claimed close association between the current Administration and the Subject be discouraged. It is the recommendation of the Research Team that while such a claim might appear attractive, for political reasons in times of stress caused by a momentary bout of reality, such association, should this information become public knowledge, would not benefit the Administration at this time. The questionable behavior by the ancestry of Santa Klaus could be embarrassing even to this Administration should it claim a close relationship and political endorsement.

No particular criticism is directed toward the few remaining supporters of the administration considering their history of denial of reality; the problem would become a concern with the general population’s unwillingness to believe a political endorsement from a non-existent person.

Summation:

1691

The verifiable history of the subject, Santa Klaus, real name Friederick, (Juan Santa-Fulgerus- name assigned by the bride’s family), Klaus Schickelgrueber, dates to 1691 when his forbearer, an able bodied seaman named Alois Klaus Schickelgrueber, with a Dutch mother, Gabrellie and German father Alois deserted his post aboard the Kaiser’s Ship, Blaue Wasser as it lay off shore in Buenos Aries in February of that year. Alois met and common-law wed, the very impressionable Maria Antonia Santa-Fulgerus-Schaad, much to the disappointment of her well to do family. The result of this union produced a male child named Alois Klaus Santa-Schickelgrueber, born December 25, 1692. Little is known of the young Santa, so called by his mother’s family, Klaus so called by his father, until he appears in Oslo, well into his 31^st year about the time the German born (in what today is Poland’s Gdansk) Gabriel Fahrenheit, invented the mercury thermometer. Unfortunately, young Klaus having answered an advertisement for paid, unskilled expedition workers had… unfortunately, absolutely nothing to do with this amazing invention).

Segment # 2 to follow.

Here's an idea long overdue.

Have a National Referendum in 2007.

Put the US Congress on exact same Social security Program that they give us.

Let then "serve" the way the Founding Fathers intended...at a small sacrifice.

They will not receive credit for earnings while in office. Their Soc. Sec. will be based solely on their earnings from actually working at actual jobs out of Government. If they have never worked...they can sponge off their families...not the taxpayer.

Any individual or organization attempting to purchase our politicians will do time.

Those individuals and organizations who currently own our politicians will lose their ownership forthwith. Any monies paid them for the purchase will be paid into the general fund.

Abolish the IRS (Congress is too greedy to do it) and establish a 12% flat tax on all purchases for national and a 3% flat tax for State and Local combined.

After 90% percent of the current freeloaders leave public "service" to freeload off their hapless families we can put qualified individuals in office for limited terms...at a livable salary in taxpayer provided and owned housing.

I am feeling better...already!

The New Revised Politically Correct,
MANDATORY Pledge!

The Old Pledge, deemed inadequate by the signatories of the
“Patriot’s Act” and other crimes against Humanity:
“I pledge allegiance to the Flagof the United States of America,and to the Republic for which it stands: one Nation indivisible,With Liberty and Justice for all.”
This is the pledge I use and, for some reason, I always finish a few words before most of the crowd.

This was the third iteration, a nice sentiment and the one I was comfortable with. Most everybody I knew, including me, repeated it by rote. I believe the reason for it being more or less a mantra was that the time to pledge the flag was picked, by others, and with much the same attitude as those of us ordered to drone it.
Along comes Ike and a group of thumpers, Christians of course, and they took the opportunity that is normally reserved for dictators, namely, they decided to correct the Pledge so that it could better express their own narrow self serving fantasy, in this case, religious. It’s apparent that they didn’t bother to consult anyone and therefore decided that totalitarianism was, after all, the best policy when doing whatever it was they had convenienced themselves was the will of whatever deity they were in communication with. Therefore, this imagined will was to be served regardless of the will of the people which, as we now know,
ain’t all that important.

I have never used the polluted version of the Pledge nor do I ever intend to but the event itself and acceptance by so many of such an obvious violation of the rights supposedly guaranteed us under our Constitution is yet one more example of how, as the Psychoanalyst Arthur Fromer pointed out the obvious namely, billions of people have demonstrated time and again that they prefer not to have to deal with the burden of freedom and its incumbent responsibilities. Just make sure they have a place out of the cold and rain and have something to eat; if you do that. just tell them where to go and what to do and most of the world’s population will happily go there and do it.

When we sit around and allow individuals who couldn’t lead themselves out of a small forest the size of a normal building lot in Georgia, (about ½ acre), have their way with us, well The good Dr. Fromer is looking more correct every day.

So I submit this more realistic Pledge for adoption: This one should satisfy the true motives behind the revised pledge.

I, under god, pledge allegiance to the flag of The United States of America, a Christian nation, under god (you get to pick any one of the thousands available), and the republican party, under god, and, Oh Yeah! to the republic, under god, for which it, under god, used to stand. One nation, under surveillance, with a few remaining liberties and with justice for several people, well, for anyone with the money or political clout to actually get some and of course, under god.

Doesn’t sound so good when we say it honestly, does it? Maybe if we were to recite an honest pledge, one that could be supported by reality and honest observation we might be pissed off enough to wake up and take our country back from imbeciles and zealots. Just maybe! I think it’s worth a try. But then again, I was always a Idealist.

The question begs…are the 82% of us in this country who are not religious/political nuts going to allow a small group of loudmouths, the same kind of crazies who were run out of Europe at the point of a sword back in the 1600’s only to arrive in New England to polute the “New World” with ignorance and hatefulness, take our free country away from us and replace it with the pathetic example of the last six + years?
I say No!

We don’t have to take this crap. It was just the last century when females in this country, that proudly claims to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, decided that it was time for a modicum of equality. Our countries “leadership’s” reaction was to denigrate them, arrest them, beat them and when one went on a hunger strike in protest to the treatment, we tied her to a chair in the cell of the Washimgton DC’s Sheriff’s Dept. and forced water down her throat for a few days. Maybe the torture in the Iraqi prison was just more good example of Christian men doing our thang for truth and justice. We showed them bitches back in Woodrow Wilson’s time now we gonna show them heathens.

I don’t know about the reader but I’m tired of all the crap being perpetrated in the name of this country. It appears that the founding fathers were correct in allowing for the citizens to replace the government when it becomes so blatantly abusive and resoundingly incompetent. They were not perfect people, these mostly privileged white men, many educated in Europe, who had enough faults and foibles to go around with some to spare. Among the good things they achieved however, two things stand out. They knew humanity well enough to predict that we would eventually get a government like the one we have in Washington right now. The other thing they did was to give us the tools to remove the bastards.
Shall we do it? Are we worthy of the numerous ultimate sacrifices made by our fellow citizens? We may be; time will tell. The time is in the next election in your area. I have been an idealists most of my life and I accept the sincere criticism I’ve received for insisting that the average American will do the right thing when the chips are down. I guess the real question is…have we had enough? I know I have!

For my money, we need to send their butts home and next time we’re in the Washington area or near some military grave yard, visit a tomb of one or more of the founding old farts or our many fallen and place a flower on a headstone and say thanks for thinking of us. You can find four of the founding fathers, including Ben and Debbie, at Christ Church In Philadelphia, Fifth and Arch, and now its been redone, it is no longer an eyesore.
I guess everybody knows where Jefferson’s remains are and you can see Monroe’s place from the front yard. Most of our fallen are in graved around the country; they could stand an occasional visit to say…thanks!
But, maybe we ought to wait until we get off our sit-downs and take the country back before we start handing out flowers and being proud of ourselves.

I wish I could find the guy who sends me this stuff. Iffin I could, I'd turn him over to the Thought Police. I may post some of what he sends me but just like our Government keeps trying to find Ossama bin Laden, I gonna keeo lookin fur this guy.

Streisand attacked by Bush girly-boy.

A Bushite, on a “mission”, most likely by the girly-boy Master (The Rove), failed in his assignment to harm Barbra Streisand recently at a concert in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

A Party-of God supporter explained to me the problem. I have recreated the conversation as best I can remember.

“Streisand is a Jewess. That’s a female Jew in case you didn’t know. She had the temerity, uh, I don’t know what that means but we are supposed to say it like that, to include a Bush impersonator in her “Jew comeback tour”.

“I mean, come on. I thought that all the Jews had been collected up by “authorities” and interned in those camps we keep for people like Japanese and liberals who read above the 6th grade level. We can’t have Jews and other liberals running around loose before election time. We must remain in office causin iffin we don’t, there’s always prison.”
“Uh, that’s my opinion so don’t repeat it, OK?”

“Speaking as a true believer…I don’t think I’m a gonna like Kansas. We gots ta be ree-elleck, uh reelect, uh kept on in office soes we don’t have to face the job market we done went n created, you know, wif our understandin of thangs like the economy and all like that.”

“Anyway, ta have some Jew Country sanger like this Strick Sand spoutin fun at our Leeder fur Life jest ain’t posed ta happin. It’s jest plane wrong!”

“Say what? Did you ask where you kin get tickets to tha show? Who am I talking to? I thought you was a Florida politician. Don’t you go around repeatin what I told Ya. Them is secret information involving the National Security, you got that punk? You Pinko!”

I’m just doing my little part to keep our Party a God in the News. I think they need the exposure. You have to admire the passion of a true believer who attacks a woman in such a brave and forthright manner.

If our military were populated with the types of “men” in the party of God, well, we’d all be speaking Moslem by now. Hey I think I saw a Jew yesterday and he wasn’t in no camp either. Which government office do I turn him in to? I wanna be me one o them
pate-ree-ots whot supports the Party a God!

You guys can bet that I'm closing in on this guy. I'll find him right after they find, who is it they have been looking for since 9/11/01?. Oh yeah, Osama!

New Element

The Republican Party has established itself as a collection of honest, forthright, dedicated, competent, altruistic intellectuals steeped in science and mathematics.
It is therefore my honor as a Party of God spokesman to announce this discovery by Republican Scientists at the top secret Republican Institute for Advanced Studies.

This astounding new discovery gives us the heaviest element in the periodic table, the explanation ( I wish I was smart enough to write this stuff; somebody smart had to do it.) which I found in the research annals of the Institute, follows. Read and be amazed!

NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED: "Governmentium"

A major research institution, The Republican Party Institute for Advanced Studies, has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant
neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. A
minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to
complete, when it would normally take less than a second. It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons

The US “Justice” Department and FAKE college degrees.

The US “Justice” Department and FAKE college degrees.

Do you think the overwhelming number (135 – so far) fake college degrees in Washington at “Justice”, the State Department, and the Republican God only knows where else, might account for the abysmally pathetic excuse for a job of work us average peasant Americans currently suffer from our standing government?

After all, only four Washington, Republican “officials”, so far, have been made to resign or are already in prison. I know that “they stands by they beliefs” but did you watch how quickly those “upstanding” public “servants” fled from the presence of Mark Foley? It was comical; those babies moved away from a fine example of Republican “manhood” like a grease puddle on water after a drop of Joy detergent lands in the middle! I really had no idea that elitists could move that fast except, of course, to accept bribes and soft monies. It was an Olympic performance. Those babies can move when they have to.

That’s not that bad for us peasants really. If we take a look at history, people in dictatorships and third world countries have always been abused in this manner.
It just took our Republicans awhile to become “deciders” to catch up with them thar dictators while avoiding the honorable obligation to become suiciders’.

Yes, some republicans have honor but they are damned few and John McCain ain’t in charge. I don’t think that even a John McCain can save the Repugnants. Remember how the Party Oparat trashed him in 2000, when he tried for the nomination?

On the plus side, our Republicans are movin with light speed now, baby!

Again, I suggest…the republican motto…LET US JOIN HANDS AND…P R E Y !

Religion in government, the sorry experience of failed world governments and the resulting abuse of the citizen and his/her freedom (if any) is being repeated in the goode ole US of A. This violation of our Constitution is, after all, the enduring gift by the Republicans to the American People. It’s pay-back time and they are giving it to us good.

Who says that Republicans actually need a real education?

Our pres got to the “top” without an earned one!

“Don Worry, Be Hoppy” ! Jest wave the flag and repeat, by rote, the polluted pledge.

Oh! Be sure not to actually think about HOW that “Under God” stuff actually got in there.