New Element

The Republican Party has established itself as a collection of honest, forthright, dedicated, competent, altruistic intellectuals steeped in science and mathematics.
It is therefore my honor as a Party of God spokesman to announce this discovery by Republican Scientists at the top secret Republican Institute for Advanced Studies.

This astounding new discovery gives us the heaviest element in the periodic table, the explanation ( I wish I was smart enough to write this stuff; somebody smart had to do it.) which I found in the research annals of the Institute, follows. Read and be amazed!

NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED: "Governmentium"

A major research institution, The Republican Party Institute for Advanced Studies, has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75 assistant
neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of
312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. A
minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to
complete, when it would normally take less than a second. It does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass
will actually increase over time since each reorganization will cause more
morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons

The US “Justice” Department and FAKE college degrees.

The US “Justice” Department and FAKE college degrees.

Do you think the overwhelming number (135 – so far) fake college degrees in Washington at “Justice”, the State Department, and the Republican God only knows where else, might account for the abysmally pathetic excuse for a job of work us average peasant Americans currently suffer from our standing government?

After all, only four Washington, Republican “officials”, so far, have been made to resign or are already in prison. I know that “they stands by they beliefs” but did you watch how quickly those “upstanding” public “servants” fled from the presence of Mark Foley? It was comical; those babies moved away from a fine example of Republican “manhood” like a grease puddle on water after a drop of Joy detergent lands in the middle! I really had no idea that elitists could move that fast except, of course, to accept bribes and soft monies. It was an Olympic performance. Those babies can move when they have to.

That’s not that bad for us peasants really. If we take a look at history, people in dictatorships and third world countries have always been abused in this manner.
It just took our Republicans awhile to become “deciders” to catch up with them thar dictators while avoiding the honorable obligation to become suiciders’.

Yes, some republicans have honor but they are damned few and John McCain ain’t in charge. I don’t think that even a John McCain can save the Repugnants. Remember how the Party Oparat trashed him in 2000, when he tried for the nomination?

On the plus side, our Republicans are movin with light speed now, baby!

Again, I suggest…the republican motto…LET US JOIN HANDS AND…P R E Y !

Religion in government, the sorry experience of failed world governments and the resulting abuse of the citizen and his/her freedom (if any) is being repeated in the goode ole US of A. This violation of our Constitution is, after all, the enduring gift by the Republicans to the American People. It’s pay-back time and they are giving it to us good.

Who says that Republicans actually need a real education?

Our pres got to the “top” without an earned one!

“Don Worry, Be Hoppy” ! Jest wave the flag and repeat, by rote, the polluted pledge.

Oh! Be sure not to actually think about HOW that “Under God” stuff actually got in there.

"When fascism comes to America,

"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross." --Sinclair Lewis (1935)

“At least, They stands by they beliefs”

We have all heard this profound statement especially when it is directed at some individual (normally a politician or a preacher) proven to be either grossly incompetent or consumed with cupidity, (I thought cupidity more appropriate than avarice, your choice).
For sooth now comes my overwhelming urge to share, you guessed it, my beliefs!

I do this because may colossally stupid deeds and statements are regularly excused by the faithful and I’m gonna get my approval for my beliefs before the Party of God is done went n put right out of office. Therefore:

1. I believe that George Washing was WRONG when he done went n told the A-Mur-A-Kin people not to adopt a two party system, ya know, like the one we done went n adopted.
2. I believe the world is only 5993 years of age, give or take a few months, jest like it says in the inerrant word a God. Why? Because Genesis 5:3-32 don’t be a leavin any gaps between “creation” and the flood which “happened exactly 1656 years later. So, put that in yo liberal pipe and smoke it!
3. I believe that if you are lying all ya gots ta do is repeat yur lie enough times and it becomes the truth.
4. I believe Dubya was appointed by God ta be tha "War President" jest kike he said and our leeder for life. Kinda like God done for that thar Idi Amin feller what used ta tell his future by reading the entrails of his enemy after Idi done went n opened the feller’s stomach wif his machete.
5. I believe that the war hero Donny Rumsfeld is not only a war hero but is a military geneuise, uh, geniues, uh, geenues, uh smart feller
6. I believe that Dobson, Robinson, Falwell and Ernest Angsley are directly appointed spokesmens for God even though she keeps sayin she never heard of em.
7. I believe A-Mur-Ik-A is built up up on Christian principals (I bet it’s heavy for them fellers) and not those lies the Founding Fathers done went n told ta folks. Expically since Jesus didn’t make it to Heaven and ended up in the USA so’es he could invent Joseph Smith and that angel feller Moroni (pronounced (Morone-eye) could find the two lost tribes if Israel, then let them piss him off soes he could demonstrate his tolerance for minorities by turning the tribes into Native Americans. Prejudice? Well I never!
8. I believe that a Chevy is better n a Mursedees, un Merrsaidees, Mur, oh what the Hell with it, that really good German car what evabody what drives a Chevy really wants.
9. I believe that the Republikans is really the “Party of Lincoln” jest like we say even though we went n abandoned Lincoln during his first term, (he was one of them reformers, ya know) forcing him to run for his second term against the Republican candidate and Party as the Union Party candidate. We thimk it jest sounds better for us to overlook that little bit of actual (liberal) history!

Them’s my beliefs and, as we say, I’m stickin to em!

Now, where’s my credit?